She couldn’t help it. Her head knew better, but her heart was unrelenting. One day she would realize that her heart spoke from trust and her head spoke only of fear, and at that very moment all of the power she suppressed would come forth and the Earth would never be the same.
Posts tagged ‘Fearlessness’
My life’s goal is an intrinsic one. I want to be unconditionally loving towards myself and others, and I want to be fearless. I know that I am shooting for the stars, but this goal is the reason I am alive. Everything else is peripheral. In essence, I would rather attain mastery of myself, than a master’s degree. I can’t tell you if its an attainable goal or not, but I know without a doubt that it is a worthy pursuit and I aim to see it through.
Recently, I read a sentence that changed everything for me. Upon reading it, I felt like I got an updated prescription on my glasses and realized what I thought was a mountain was actually a rubbish pile, and it needed to be dealt with. The sentence was simple. “You don’t have to judge this situation.” In other words, I don’t have to categorize everything that happens and everyone I meet as either good or bad. “I am free from the task of judgement.” As someone who is focused on loving people unconditionally, the magnitude of this realization was humbling. With this new vision I could plainly see that categorizing everyone and everything was not only an automatic process for me, but also incredibly judgmental. I feel like the left part of my brain was doing this instantaneously as a defense mechanism, and that the defense was rooted in fear. I was essentially qualifying and disqualifying people all the time. The good people deserve kindness and grace, the bad people can be overlooked. The good circumstances can be embraced and celebrated and the bad situations need to be avoided at all costs. This way of thinking in not only in line with conditional love, it could very well be the definition.
I want love to shine out of me onto every person and every circumstance, otherwise I am shining light on light and leaving the darkness to the dark, accomplishing nothing. The worst part is that all I have to work with is assumption and presumption which is nothing more than self righteous make believe. I am not qualified to judge because my hindered and skewed perception of a snap shot moment doesn’t know a thing about truth, the motivations of the heart or what’s to come. Its even harder with people I know because I’ve got history and experience with them, but I did not design them before time and knit them together in their mother’s womb. I’m still not qualified to judge. I cannot see into even my best friend’s soul to deduce her true motivations and don’t even get me started on what I “think” I know about my husband. My perception is skewed by lies, fear and my own insecurities. If I could see into other people’s souls clearly I would see what I see in myself…Goodness & purity held hostage by fear and deception.
Judging circumstances is a fruitless burden as well. My husband was in a fender bender at a time when we were behind on bills. I judged that situation as bad and became fearful. The damage our car sustained was minor and the person settled with us on the spot and paid several times the cost of repairs, catching us up on finances in a moment. I’ve also accepted shiny job offers with workplaces that resemble Utopia only to find out that one difficult boss can take the joy out of any job. What looks good can often bring trouble, what looks bad can be accompanied by blessings.
I am not qualified to judge. Its exhausting anyways. Every day of my life serves a purpose and is an opportunity to learn and grow. Whether I realize it right away or not, so is every person and circumstance I encounter. I am only responsible for my own motivations and choices. I can freely accept people and circumstances in the same way I accept each new sunrise… With gratitude and appreciation for the lessons and blessings they bring.